


A Green Day In Hell

by Creativeparrot



Category: Green Day
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cutting, Depression, F/M, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, Male Slash, Mpreg, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:46:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8087827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creativeparrot/pseuds/Creativeparrot
Summary: Post Billie rehab. The boys are staying together with an added guest. Tre and Billie have some issues to work out and Mike has his own problems to deal with. Tre and Billie mysteriously fall ill. Relationship angst ensues. Story is much better than this summary.





	1. All By Myself

All By Myself

 

            Mike looked at Trè laying on the couch. He had his left arm behind his head and his right hand was slowly tracing imaginary shapes on his exposed torso. Mike had never seen him so calm. He knew there was some tension between Trè and Billie. It seemed as if Billie, in his drug induced craze, may have been a bit more forceful with Trè than he would have on ordinary circumstances. Billie had not exactly expressed remorse in any of the letters they had exchanged, but Mike hoped things would calm down.  

            “Billie should be here soon “ Mike called out. Trè jumped.

            “Yeah” Trè took a long slow drink of water from his cup next to him. Mike walked into the living room and sat by Trè’s feet. Trè scrunched to make room for him. 

            “This will be the first time all three of us have been alone together since…” Mike trailed off. Since Billie went to rehab…

            “Yeah well I just wanted to make sure you are going to be okay.”

            “Fine, are you?” Trè looked at Mike.

            “What? Yeah I’m fine but you just seem different as of late.”

            “Different how?” Mike swung his legs up over the back of the couch and hung upside down on the couch. 

            “You are less…, happy than usual. You are acting like a hologram or something.”

            “So are you Mikey.” Trè sat up pulling his legs close to him, “The fact is we are all a little different.”

            “Yeah but we all didn’t have-“ Trè took a sip from the plastic cup he had sitting on the coffee table. It was only water, but he needed something to do with his hands. “Never mind, look I just want to make sure you are going to be okay. I am going to go to the basement. Call me when Billie get here okay?” Trè nodded. He stretched back out on the couch. He was enjoying his last few minutes of piece. His stomach growled at the thought of what the next few minutes would bring. His last memories of Billie left a sour taste in his mouth. Although he had gotten control over his anxiety just the thought of facing Billie Joe Armstrong again made him want to vomit. He seemed like the carefree one he had to put up that front. Nobody could know he spent a good portion of his alone time with his head in the toilet. Well almost nobody…there was Jessie. His stomach growled again as he thought about what it took for him to find her, all the hell he put himself through physically and mentally. He heard a car door slam and his heart jumped to his throat. Jessie wasn’t supposed to be in his life. She didn’t know how he felt about her and he wasn’t sure if he would ever have the nerve to tell her. When she first was thrown on him months ago he resented her. He…hated her.

          He sat up and gagged. Footsteps on the porch made him grab his red solo cup from the table and quietly spit up into it. He was shaking as the doorknob turned. He decided to get rid of the evidence in his cup. The door opened and he sprang to the bathroom.

        “Hello?”  Trè dumped the contents of the cup into the toilet and threw the cup away. “Trè? Honey I’m home.” Billie was clearly making a joke but it took Trè back to old times, bad times. He could feel more bile rise in his throat. Billie was getting closer. “Trè? Mike? Are you here?” Billie sounded almost sad. Trè slowly sank to his knees hoping he could stay hidden long enough for him to gather himself. “What the fuck Trè? I saw you leave.” now Billie sounded angry. That was worse than sad. Billie used to sound like that a lot…back then. Trè emptied his stomach just as Billie’s footsteps rounded the corner. “Trè?” Trè couldn’t look at him yet. He straightened himself and flushed the toilet. “Well aren’t you going to say hi?” Trè wanted him to leave, he wanted to curl into a ball on the floor, he wanted to- he shook his head bringing him back to his current predicament.

       “Hi Billie. Nice to have you back” Trè studied the floor with intensity.  

       “Trè, sweet cakes you act like you aren’t happy to see me.”

       “I have to get my toothbrush from the upstairs bathroom.” 

        “Trè? What the fuck man?” Billie put his hand on Trè’s shoulder. Trè shuttered.

        “No Bille” Trè gently pushed Billie’s hand away.

        “Why are you being like this babe?” Billie dropped his black duffel bag and his book bag slid off of his shoulder and Trè looked up for the first time since Billie got home.

        “I-“

“Billie is that you?” Mike stomped up from the basement. “I thought I heard your voice” Mike’s eyes fell on Billie and he smiled. Billie smiled back.

“Mike!” Billie stepped forward and Mike embraced him in a manly hug. “How have you been?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? How are you feeling? Have you seen Adrienne yet? Is she okay with us stealing you from her for a while longer?” An expression flashed across Billie’s face that Mike couldn’t identify. But before he could ask Billie was back to smiling.

“Slow down there Mikey” they both laughed. Trè was about to slip away and go wash the taste of his mouth when he heard footsteps coming down the steps.

“Trè, I thought you were-“ Billie turned, surprised to find a gorgeous woman with long, glossy black hair and big blue eyes coming down the stairs. She had on a lacy, light pink silk tank top and jean shorts. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize –“

“Hey Jessie  come here, meet Billie.” Mike smiled and beckoned her down.

“A-are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt.”

“No, please come here.” Trè looked at her with wide eyes, silently begging her to help.

“O-okay”  Trè casually put his arm behind her back.

“Billie this is Jessie. Jessie, Billie” 

“Hi, nice to meet you. I hope to get to know you more as the weeks go on.”  Billie was trying not to stare. She was so beautiful., the only other girl who had ever made him feel this way was Adrianne. He was also trying not to lose control of his anger, what was Trè’s deal?

“Ooh? So you are staying here with us too?” Billie tried to smile, but he was sure it came out as more of a Jack-o-Lantern grin.  

“Oh didn’t they tell you? I’m sorry.” 

“Tell me what?” she looked down not sure of what to say.  Billie was worried. He just got out of rehab, Trè won’t look at him, and there is a strange but beautiful woman standing with Trè’s arm around her back looking undeniably sad for him. Was this his life now?

“Billie, Jessie is living with us for a while because,” his eyes slid to Trè who was silently begging him not to tell the truth. Billie didn’t need to know that he fell apart. Billie didn’t need to know there were concerns from the higher ups about his health. “Because I was going through a rough time and the higher ups thought it would be better to have someone around who can help with emotional stuff. Not just for me, but for all of us. She is here for emotional, medical, and any kind of support we may need.  They said they sent you a letter.”

“Yeah, I am sure there was a letter somewhere in the haze.” Billie trailed off. “Oh, Mikey is everything okay?” Billie asked still slightly confused.

“I’m” Mike looked at Trè “better I think, not back to 100 percent yet but I am better.” Trè smiled. Billie looked at Jessie.

“Well, if you are here to stay I’m glad to meet you.” He held out his hand and she took it. Her hands were so soft and tiny.

“Always a pleasure to meet another rock star. I hope I won’t be too much of a problem. I understand you three have a lot of history together. I don’t want to intrude.” 

“I’m sure we can all manage.” Billie said with a smile.  Jessie could feel Trè’s hand shake against her. She knew he would need to get away soon.

“Anyway, I bet you want to unpack and get settled in. I’m going to head back upstairs, I can grab your bags if you want to follow me. Trè will you help me?” Trè nodded. She grabbed Billie’s duffel bag and Trè grabbed Billie’s raggedy book bag.

“You guys didn’t have to I could have carried those.”

“Hush you we are helping. I assume you are in the empty room to the left of mine?”

“I would assume.” Billie said. They reached the top of the steps. Jessie opened the door and put Billie’s bag next to his bed. Trè cautiously followed them placing Billie’s book bag in the corner and attempting to sneak out.

“Well why don’t you settle in for a little bit and we will reconvene downstairs and have some lunch if you are hungry? Billie smiled. He didn’t know what else to say so he just nodded. Trè practically ran out of the room. Jessie was much calmer as the smiled and closed the door.  

            Trè closed his door and sat on his bed. All of his hard work trying to build himself back up has gone down the drain within five minutes of seeing Billie. He could feel the familiar suffocating feeling creeping over him. He slid of the corner of his bed and sat on the floor, leaning against his bed frame. There was a soft knock on the door. Trè’s breath caught in his throat. It couldn’t be Billie. Billie was busy unpacking. Another knock came on the door. He couldn’t move. 

            “Trè? It’s me Jessie.” He breathed a sigh of relief and managed to drag himself off of the floor. He opened the door a crack. “I wasn’t sure if you needed me, or if you wanted to be alone.” Trè shook his head no and moved aside, opening  his door for her. He moved back to his place on the floor, leaning against his bed. She plopped down on his bed,  stretching out so that her head fell right behind his. “I thought you handled yourself very well.” 

“No I didn’t” he said into his hands.

“I think you did.”

“Why?”

“You didn’t throw up.” She slid off the bed and sat next to him.

“I did before he got here. I heard his footsteps on the porch and I couldn’t deal. I threw up in my cup then when I heard him open the door I threw up again.” He wasn’t looking at her, his head was down, and his voice was shaky. She put her hand on his back. 

“You have to take things slow. You are in a much better place than when I first met you.”

“I don’t think I can handle this.”

“Look, you love music right?” He nodded. “You are here to make music.” He leaned his head against her shoulder.

“I’m glad you are here.”

“Thanks,” they sat in silence for a bit. Another knock came at the door. Jessie could feel Trè stiffen. “Should I get that? She whispered in his ear. He shrugged. A louder knock came at the door. She got up and opened the door. Billie was standing on the other side. “Billie, come on in. Are you done unpacking?” she stepped aside and Billie came in the door. Trè turned his head, but didn’t get up.

“Yeah, it wasn’t that hard. I didn’t have that much, clothes mostly.”

“Oh okay, well I am going to go start lunch. Any requests?”

“Nothing too heavy, my system is still adjusting to normal food.” Billie said to the floor. She didn’t have to make them lunch, that didn’t seem to be in her job description.  

“How about some soup? It seems like a soup day.” Billie nodded. “I’ll call you when it is ready.” She caught Trè’s eye and he looked horrified. She mouthed “It will be okay. I promise.” She smiled and closed the door.


	2. Like A Rat Does Cheese

Like A Rat Does Cheese

                Jessie paused outside of Trè’s door. She wanted to make sure things weren’t going to come to physical violence. When she didn’t hear anything for about 5 minutes she headed downstairs. As she came down the steps she heard Mike’s voice.

            “Please,” he was pacing so she couldn’t get a good look at his face, “I can’t” he stopped. There was a pause as the other person spoke. Jessie paused at the bottom of the steps. “I thought-oh okay. Yeah. Bye.” He hung up the phone with a sigh. 

            “Hey Mike, everything okay?” She took the last step down. Mike turned to her, he looked like he might cry. 

            “I just…” he paused. “I just..” he stopped again.

            “Hey, that’s okay. I am going to make some lunch. I was thinking soup. It seems like a soup kind of day. Do you want to help?” Mike nodded. 

            “I have to run to the bathroom first.”

            “Okay, I will get started boiling some water for the noodles.”  

 

 

            “Hello my friend, we meet again…it’s been a while where should we begin? Feels like forever…Within my heart are memories of perfect love that you gave to me. Oh I remember…When you are with me I’m free, I’m careless, I believe.” 

            “Billie….did you just quote Creed to me?” Billie nodded.

            “You would be surprised at what music you find yourself listening to when you are detoxing.” He shrugged. “It doesn’t mean I don’t believe the words Trè. You act like you aren’t happy to see me.” Billie took a cautious step towards him.  “That hurts” Billie looked down and stopped moving.

            “You know what else hurts? A broken nose, some cracked ribs, and-“ he stopped. His voice was wavering too much. Billie didn’t say anything. He closed the distance between them. Trè flinched but didn’t move. As Billie slowly sat next to him Trè could feel his hands start to shake. He couldn’t look at Billie.

            “Please, look at me” It was Billie’s turn to waver. “ Look Trè, I can’t say I am sorry for the way I acted.” Trè whipped his head around and looked at Billie with disbelief. 

            “What?” Tears stung his eyes but his voice was powerful.

            “Listen will ya? I can’t say I am sorry for the way I acted when I don’t exactly remember the entire situation. I remember bits and pieces but I need your help to string it together.”

            “Are you asking me to relive that? Billie, I can’t do that.”

            “Then I don’t know how to move past it.”

            “We don’t”

            “You can’t say that Trè, you just can’t say that.”

            “Look I am not willing to give up on Green Day and I do not want to leave the band. So, for the sake of music …we have to just not okay? We can make music together but that is it and even that may take time.”

            “Trè,” Billie’s lips trembled. “Please”

            “Enough, I can’t do this right now. It has been too long. I needed you and you were gone. I needed you and I didn’t even get so much as a letter?”

            “I tried” Billie whispered. “I started writing you at least a hundred times.” He paused. “ But I didn’t think any of it made sense.” He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his jeans pocket and held it out for Trè . Trè looked at it for a minute. It was just a piece of crumpled, yellow legal pad paper, but to him it could have been the world. He reached out and took it. “Read it” Billie stood up and left. Trè was confused.  

 

Mike came back from the bathroom looking a little calmer, but just as quiet. Jessie was strategically placing noodles into a giant pot.

            “Okay, what do you need my help with?” Mike said. She turned around.

            “Do you want to help me cut the vegetables? Or do you want to dice the chicken?” 

            “Vegetables” she handed him some carrots and celery and pointed to two cutting boards set up on the island in the kitchen.

            “Pick your weapon of choice.” She smiled. He chuckled and sat on the left side She pulled out raw chicken from the fridge and sat across from him. “you guys like chicken noodle soup don’t you?”

            “Who doesn’t?” Mike said intently studying the carrot he was peeling.

            “So Mike…do you need to talk about anything?” Mike sighed.

            “It’s just my daughter.” She waited for him to say more, but he did not seem in the mood to share. 

            “Oh, is everything okay?” she did not want to pry, but she did not know what else to say.

            “Yeah…apparently everything is great…so great that she doesn’t have time to talk to me.” As he spoke he progressively got more and more aggressive with his vegetable cutting.  She blinked, unsure of what to do. She remained silent, allowing him to take his aggression out on the vegetables. When a tear slipped out of his eye she decided it was time to intervene. 

            “Mike, hey…things will even out. How old is she now? 18. She is just discovering her own freedom. She will come back when she messes up her laundry for the first time or when she needs to file taxes. She still needs you.” Mike smiled.

            “How do you know?”

            “It wasn’t so long ago that I was 18 thank you very much.” She smiled. They continued to cook with idle chatter passing between them.

 

 

            Trè held the paper in his hand, caressing it. He gathered what little courage he had left and carefully unfolded the paper. He smiled at Billie’s handwriting. He took a breath and began to read:  

~~Dearest,~~ ~~Dear~~ , Trè,

                Remember the time, in the middle of a show, you smashed your face off of the corner of your drum set or something?  I don’t know exactly what happened but you had blood dripping out of your mouth and you never looked happier. It made me ~~want you, smile~~ , happy. Then I think  to a time when Mike and I ~~came across~~ found you laying on the ground next to a dumpster. You had been in a fight or something. You had blood on your mouth again, but this time you looked so scared and so alone. Finally, I think to a time not so long ago ~~in time, but~~ in relative terms, but eons ago from the ~~hell~~ place I am now. A time when you and I were backstage and once again your lip was bleeding. The look on your face mirrored that of the one you wore next to the dumpster only this time I was the cause. I can’t tell you what happened leading up to any of these events, but I can tell you how ~~sorry~~ sick I am over the fact that I was a factor. I don’t know ~~if~~ …when I will see you again...I don’t even know if you will read this letter. I don’t know if I will even send it. I’m in a ~~bad~~ , ~~good~~ better place emotionally now, but I’m still ~~down, torn apart, in pain, breathing,~~ pretty bad off…if I am being honest. Trè, whatever physical agony I am in now is equal to the pain I feel knowing I hurt you. 

                Trè, I am scared. I am scared of what my life will be once I get past this speedbump. Will I be able to write more songs? Will the world be able to accept me again? My hands are shaking as I write this. I really need some form of normalcy. I wish I could see you and Mike…although I am not sure you would come if you could. I can’t blame you.  

                The food here is weird…not bad exactly, but weird. I think it will take me a while to not want to puke when I see meatloaf, that was the first meal I had here and well…things didn’t go well after. Detoxing is a bitch. I barely have enough strength to hold this pen. But Trè I need to know that I tried…I need to know that I did everything I could. I mean so what Trè? I gave you a fucking bloody nose! We rough each other up all the time! Why ….

 

            The rest of the page was torn off. Trè sighed…typical Billie. He let the paper slip through his fingers and fall to the floor. He could feel a mouthful of bile rise in his throat. He swallowed it back. It was just a piece of paper and yet it felt like so much more to him.

 

Mike finished the last vegetable and handed the cutting board to Jessie.

            “I appreciate your help Mike.” She dumped the vegetables into the broth. “It should be ready soon.” Mike nodded.

            “I had fun. I am going to go lay on the couch for a bit I am tired.” He turned and walked into the living room. Jessie turned the heat on the soup down and decided to check on the other boys.  She walked up the stairs and was relived not to hear screaming. She jumped when she saw Billie standing in the doorway to his room. 

            “Billie, hi…how is it going?” she took a good look at his face. He didn’t seem mad, he didn’t seem sad, he looked…nervous?

            “Fine fine” was all he said and ducked back into his room. That seemed odd to Jessie, but she didn’t know Billie. She shrugged and knocked on Trè’s door. She heard shuffling as the door slowly opened a crack. 

            “Oh Jess, it’s you.” Trè opened the door and let her in, quickly shutting the door behind her. He seemed frozen. He leaned against the door quietly.  

            “Everything go…decently?” she asked. He nodded slowly. He looked scared and his breathing was shallow. “Do you want to tell me about it?” she was nervous, he was always willing to share before. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped. He lifted his gaze from the floor and tried again,

            “I am so confused.”  He pointed to the letter on the floor and she cautiously picked it up. He peeled himself off of the door as she read. When she was done he was standing next to her. She looked from the letter to Trè and back again. 

            “Wow..” she paused and looked at Trè for a long moment. “Tell you what, why don’t you think about it for a few minutes. Come downstairs with me, I have to make sure the soup doesn’t boil over. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were holding up. Come down with me, I’ll get you a beer, and you can relax a little.” Trè smiled and nodded. They left the room and headed downstairs, neither one noticing that Billie had resurfaced from his room.   

 

            Trè sat at the head of the island and put his head in his hands. Jessie placed a nice cold beer in front of him and went to check on the soup. She turned the heat back up and watched the water boil. She heard the beer can hiss as it opened. He seemed much calmer than he had in his room. He slowly took a long sip and placed the now half empty can back on the island. Jessie did not know what to say. She only knew snippets about Billie and Tre’s issues and she desperately wanted to piece things together. She sat in the chair to his left, the one closer to the stove.  

            “Do you want to talk some more?” she asked.

            “I don’t really know what to say.” He stared intently at the beer can. “I think I might just have to tell him I can’t” he paused, his lips trembled. “I can’t…trust him.” His eyes started to water. “and I can’t spend my time worrying what he will do next.” He took another sip of beer. 

            “I am proud of you Trè.” She gently patted his arm. 

            “I can’t talk about this anymore.” He jumped up from the table and ran to the bathroom. Jessie sighed. She got up and gave the soup a stir. 

 

            About fifteen minutes later the soup was ready, Mike was sleeping on the couch, Billie had yet to come downstairs and Trè had yet to emerge. Jessie carefully went over to Mike. He

had his right arm over his face and was laying  on his back. 

            “Mike” she whispered.

            “Soup time?” he said sitting up. She jumped, maybe he wasn’t asleep.

            “Yup” Mike walked into the kitchen. Just as Jessie was contemplating how to get Billie, Billie came down the steps. 

            “The delicious smell wafted upstairs and I came to see if it was time to eat yet.” He said stepping off of the last step. She nodded. He smiled and went into the kitchen with Mike.

“Where’s Trè?” he asked as she walked into the kitchen as well.

           

“Oh I will go get him, he had a bit of a sick stomach I think.” She was careful not to give   too much away, and it wasn’t technically a lie. Tre did have a vey nervous system, however, she could sense that Billie did not entirely believe her. 

            “No need I am right here” she almost ran smack into Trè who was heading towards her.

            “You alright buddy?” Mike asked getting some juice out of the fridge. Trè nodded.

            “Alright I’ll get the bowls.” Billie looked at Trè with such intensity he didn’t notice when a steaming hot bowl was placed in front of him. He slowly picked up the spoon and began to eat. He let the warm broth slide down his throat and into his stomach. Trè was studying the soup very intently. They both were eating slowly. Mike was tearing into his soup, he wanted to say something but he was also starving.

            “Where’d Jessie go?” he said around a mouthful of noodles. The others jumped, they hadn’t noticed she was gone.   

            “I’m here guys.” She said from the floor.

            “Jessie what are you doing down there? Come sit with us.” Mike said.

            “Guys, I wanted to give you time to be…well guys. I thought if I was down here you could pretend I wasn’t here and kind of do your…guy thing?” she stammered. They all looked at her in silence. “I’ll just..come up there. I swear I had good intentions.” She got off the floor and sat opposite from Mike at the other end of the island. Billie sipped more broth, Mike got up to get a second bowl, and Trè slowly ate the vegetables one at a time. He got up and silently grabbed another beer.  Billie’s eyes followed him. Trè sat back down. The only sound came from Mike slurping his noodles. He finished his bowl with a sigh.

            “It was good Jess. Thanks. I will do the dishes once everyone is done.” He burped. “I’m going to go take a nap.” He smiled and went to his room. Billie slowly lifted a spoonful of noodles to his mouth. He opened his mouth but quickly dropped the noodles back into the soup bowl. 

            “Billie? Is something wrong with the soup?” Jessie asked. Billie was staring at his soup now.

            “No,” he did not elaborate.  Trè finished his second beer and got up to get a third. “My system is still adjusting to normal food” Billie whispered into his bowl.

            “Do you feel sick?” Jessie asked.  Billie shrugged. She stood up and walked to him, kneeled next to him, and looked at him. He looked tired. “Billie?”

            “Just a little off. Things haven’t been exactly like I thought they would. It’s a little rocky start.” Billie’s eyes flicked to Trè briefly before he looked back to his soup. “Emotions don’t mix well with my new lifestyle. I was told I could experience mild detox symptoms for the first week or so after I left r…the facility.”  

            “Are you?” She noticed a slight sheen of sweat on his face.

            “Just a little…shaky.”

            “Come on, go upstairs, lay down and relax for a bit. I know I was told you weren’t allowed to have any medication for a while, something to do with the mix of chemicals and relapsing rate…I don’t know I kind of zoned out during the job description after the hour or so of rules and regulations.” Billie smiled. “But if you still feel bad in a little bit I have some home remedies that may be useful.”  Trè finished his third beer in silence and grabbed a fourth. “Only if you are done eating that is.” Billie slowly got up and sighed. He reached for his still mostly full bowl with a slightly shaking hand. “No, let me” she picked it up and put it in the sink.” Jessie looked at the oven clock, it was only 4:00 in the afternoon and two out of three Green Day members were going to bed. She laughed to herself. Billie smiled at her and made his way towards the staircase. “I’ll be up to check on you in an hour or so.”  Trè finished his fourth beer and sighed. “Why aren’t you eating?” Jessie asked him.

            “Billie was right about one thing anyway…emotions and his new lifestyle don’t mix.” He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and followed Billie upstairs. “I need to talk to him now.” Jessie sighed, this wasn’t going to end well. There was nothing she could do to stop it, this explosion had to happen. She could however, be there to pick up the pieces afterwards. She put the last bowl in the sink and started putting away the leftover soup.

 

            Billie got to his room and started undressing. He took off his shoes first, then jacket, then he took off his shirt, and finally he took off his socks. He felt like everything was in slow motion, the room spun slightly and he had to sit on the edge of his bed to collect himself. He shivered slightly and carefully moved to get under his new blanket. It was nice to have his own room again. It would take some time to get used to the arrangement and it was a little strange having another person living with them…and yet…Billie couldn’t help but feel oddly calm around her. She seems like a very nice girl, he couldn’t explain why but he felt as if she filled a missing void in his life…His mind wandered from Jessie to Trè. His stomach clenched with worry. Did he read the letter? Did he get what Billie was trying to say? Will he understand? As these thoughts raced through his mind he heard a knock on his door. It couldn’t be Jessie already? He didn’t want to get up.

            “Come in” he called. The door opened slowly. Billie couldn’t breathe..Trè was standing in the doorway. Billie sat up and leaned against his headboard. The room spun a little. Trè closed the door behind him. He wasn’t drunk, but he was a little bit tipsy. He walked slowly and deliberately over to Billie’s bed. “Did you read the letter?” Billie practically whispered. His heart was racing and he could feel his body shake even more than he already had been. 

            “Yes… What the fuck Billie? What the fuck?” Billie blinked. 

            “I-What- I…” Billie took a breath. “What do you mean?”

            “I’m worried about you, okay? I’m worried and I am mad and I am scared and I am hurt…” he stopped. “I don’t want to be worried about you and I think it is really unfair of you to put all of this guilt on me. It wasn’t my fault you have an addiction problem, it wasn’t my fault you couldn’t have visitors, it wasn’t my fault you…it just wasn’t my fault.” By the end he was practically whispering. 

            “Trè, …no that’s not what I was trying to…” Billie took the covers off of himself and got out of bed. He walked towards Trè in only his black jeans. He stopped just out of arms reach from him. “I  was trying to say” Billie’s voice shook almost as much as his hands. “Trè…I was trying to say how much I needed you…how much I need you.” Billie was starting to get a headache and wanted nothing more than to curl up under the blankets and go to sleep. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t think badly of me…please” Billie was trying to sort out his racing thoughts in his mind. 

            “Billie?” Trè’s tone changed entirely. He sounded worried. He took a step towards Billie and put his hand gently on Billie’s shoulder. “Are you really that sick? I though detox only lasted a few days or a week?”

“Initial detox does, the thing that’s fucked up about these centers is that they give you drugs to help get you off other drugs. This place was nice though…they started lowering your dosages on a week by week basis. So by the time I left I barely needed the new drugs. But barely needing drugs and not having them can set your body back a bit when you don’t have them. I’ll be okay in a few days hopefully. I just want to feel normal again. I could take these pills they gave me. They are a lighter version of the stuff they were pumping me full of, but…they…make me feel weird…like a different person almost.” He closed his eyes and hoped the room would stop spinning. “But Trè…” Billie put his hand on Trè’s face. Trè flinched but didn’t remove his hand. “I need you to know that…ah well I thought about you a lot.”   

            “And you think I didn’t think about you?” Billie smiled.

            “Oh yeah? What did you think about?” he moved his hand from Trè’s face to his hand. Trè could feel Billie shiver.   

            “Mostly I thought about how upset I was with you, mostly I thought about how bad you made me feel.” He could feel Billie start to pull away. “But I don’t want to think about that anymore. Billie I don’t want to think anymore.  I don’t want to…” he put his head on Billie’s shoulder. Billie’s heart pounded harder. He was holding Trè. Trè needed him again and it felt great. He got a little too happy and felt his jeans start to tighten. 

            “Then don’t” he whispered in Trè’s ear. Billie’s vision swam and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was sick or because Trè was so close. “Just come, get into bed with me…don’t be upset anymore. Just come to bed with me.” Billie was rambling and he knew it. Trè didn’t mind. He lifted his head from Billie’s shoulder to look him in the eyes.  

            “Are you sure you are up for it?” He instinctively put his hand against Billie’s forehead. “You feel warm.” Billie grinned.

            “That’s because all of my blood is rushing south.” Trè squinted at him.

            “Let’s get one fucking thing straight here Billie..” Billie’s eyes widened.

            “What?” Trè grinned. 

            “You’re my dominated love slave, now get in that damn bed.”   

            “Are you sure?” Billie looked long and hard at him. “I don’t want-“ Trè put his hand over Billie’s mouth.

            “Bitch I said get your ass in that bed now. Don’t make me ask again, please.” He lightly, playfully pushed Billie towards the bed. Billie shrugged, he couldn’t deny that he wanted Trè badly.  “Now take off your pants” Billie undid his jeans and pulled them off awkwardly stepping out of them. He tried not to fall over as the room shifted around him. He shook his head, trying to regain focus. When he did he saw Trè now shirtless undoing his own belt and pants. He picked his belt up off the floor and held it between his fingers. 

            “What are you going to do with me now?” Billie asked. He tried to hide his shivering. He was only in his boxers now. Trè looked at him. He walked up to Billie, grabbed Billie’s wrists, pushed them above Billie’s head, and kissed him hard. Billie could feel his knees buckle and fell into Trè.

            “Nu uh, you aren’t allowed to fall for me yet.” Trè pushed him back up and grinned. “Guess we will just have to make sure you stay in your place.” He wrapped his belt around Billie’s wrists three times and maneuvered the buckle around the middle of the bedpost tying Billie to the bed. Billie’s breathing increased. He needed Trè to do something now. He let out a moan. Trè laughed.  

            “Trè, please, please” Trè laughed again.

            “You really have changed Billie. I guess all that time away did you good after all. You must really want me.” He reached up and loosened the belt enough so Billie could move around slightly. “Swing that leg up and lay down” Billie maneuvered himself so he was laying facedown, diagonally across his bed with his arms stretched over his head. His stiff penis dug into the soft blanket with just enough force to make him moan. He felt Trè climb onto the bed and then climb onto him. Billie moaned again as Trè pulled Billie’s boxers slowly down around his legs. 

            “Fuck Trè I need you” he breathed. Trè pulled his own boxers off and leaned forward so his hands were on either side of Billie’s torso, just under his armpits.

            “Yeah? How badly?” Trè grinned.

            “So badly” Billie gasped. Billie bit down on his sheets to keep from screaming in pleasure. As Trè thrust against him he gently slid against the soft blanket, giving him double pleasure. He could feel Trè’s hot breath against him and hear Trè’s occasional grunt. Billie’s world was swimming and he seemed to lose track of everything except Trè.

 All too quickly, (and a little embarrassing) Billie could feel the sticky sweet satisfaction of completion. Trè’s thrusts had slowed to a soothing rocking pace, and then he stopped all together, falling next to Billie on the bed. He was panting and sweaty, but happy. He slowly reached up and untied Billie from the bedpost. Billie gratefully rolled over, moving closer to Trè. 

“Looks like you are going to have some cleaning up to do” Billie looked at the wet spot he left on the bed and blushed. 

“I’ll deal with it later” he rolled over and put his head on Trè’s chest. His heart was racing. Billie shivered. He was completely drained and his headache was starting to come back. In an almost comical mood shift, Trè put his arm around Billie.

“Billie? I must have really rocked your world huh?” he put his hand on Billie’s forehead again. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I was already sweating before you even touched me.” He chuckled. There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. They both froze as the door slowly started to open.


End file.
